Of all the I’ve-got-a-problem-help-me-solve-it-on-national-television-shows that I pretend not to watch, Hoarders is by far my preferred addiction. I even have my favorite therapists, as they are as much a part of the show as the cluttered hoards.
Dr. Robin Zasio is my top choice: She gets sent to the worst places, and she handles it with grace and perk (even with the animal episodes, where there’s always a mummified cat discovery!). She even adopted a rat from one of the creepiest episodes. There was that time around the second season when her long, blond hair took on a decidedly zebra-like, two-tone appearance. But she seems to have hired a better publicist/stylist, and this type of homemade disaster is clearly absent now. Her personal website features butterflies, as does that of my other favorite shrink, Dr Suzanne Chabaud. (What is it with therapists and butterflies?) Suzanne always manages to have a disproving teacher look on her face when surveying the giant pile of poo poo diapers, like she just can’t contain her disgust. (Who can?!) Of all the shrinks featured on Hoarders, she’s the one I suspect might have her own secret hoard.
I love the clean-up teams too. Matt Paxton got started as an “extreme cleaning specialist” by helping his grandmother move, and he seems to have a real soft spot for these hoarders. Maybe he can help my relatives one day. I have an uncle in my family who was a hoarder, but we used the ever-kitschy term “pack rat” to describe his “condition.” My favorite thing about Hoarders, however, is how sparkly fresh and orderly my own house appears after watching just one episode. I feel more together and clean without lifting a finger to actually do anything!