If someone had once asked me to describe my perfect guy, I would have told them the different types I liked. There was “The Scotsman”: tall, red hair, skinny (basically Conan O’ Brian with an accent), and very funny. Also equally enjoyable was “The Italian”: tall, dark wavy hair, green eyes, muscular, strong with a deep voice. Who could forget “The Musician” (Bass Player, if I’m splitting hairs)? He was always tall, with long dark hair, moody, pale with hazel eyes, tattoos and very skinny. Also fun but very elusive was “The Scandinavian”: very tall, blond, blue eyes, muscular, tan and slim.
Now as I troll through the many profiles on internet dating sites, I don’t see anything like what I thought I was looking for in my 20s (and to whom I had hoped to be married). Either I have to make some serious revisions to my dream man, or he doesn’t exist for the over-40 set.
I think it’s a bit of both. When I imagine what the “perfect” guy would be for me now, looks seem to have fallen way down to the bottom of the list. Sense of humor is still key to my personal happiness, but I’d take steady job over steady bass rhythm any day! Tall would still be nice, but it’s not a make or break asset. If I do a search on any of the dating sites I’ve visited and then narrow down my options by height, it seems the more inches I add the fewer men exist. Does that mean that tall guys get married and stay married? Don’t know, but they are too few to be too choosy. Kind, motivated, healthy, and sober are way up there at the top. That’s what I find sexy these days.