Of all the I’ve-got-a-problem-help-me-solve-it-on-national-television-shows that I pretend not to watch, Hoarders is by far my preferred addiction. I even have my favorite therapists, as they are as much a part of the show as the cluttered hoards. Dr. Robin Zasio is my top choice: She gets sent to the worst places, and she handles it […]

I am a crafty person, like Martha Stewart crafty. Over the years I have sewn many skirts, knitted my share of scarves, built bookcases and tables, and up-cycled dozens of garage sale finds. Making two beautiful children along with their own food supply (placentas totally count as creating your own organ!) would be among my […]

It was late one night when it happened. Not really late, just 40-something late: 10 o’clock. Kids were in bed, feet up on the couch, and I thought I felt like chatting on the phone. I sadly realized none of my friends would be awake, or have the time, or they’d be on the computer. […]

So my ex-husband is getting married. Yay!? Congratulations!? Good for you!? What a great couple!? I’m not really sure what to think about this. I suppose I’m happy for him. And the girlfriend is as nice as a future wife of an ex-husband could be. (She will be stepmom, too.) When he told me, I […]

If someone had once asked me to describe my perfect guy, I would have told them the different types I liked. There was “The Scotsman”: tall, red hair, skinny (basically Conan O’ Brian with an accent), and very funny. Also equally enjoyable was “The Italian”: tall, dark wavy hair, green eyes, muscular, strong with a […]

It’s official. The votes are in; I am the most embarrassing Mommy in the world. The other morning while driving my kids to school, I dialed my satellite radio to the alternative ’80s channel (First Wave) looking for some cool morning tunes we could all get down to. ABC’s “Shoot that Poison Arrow” comes on. […]

I’m one of those people that have a song for every occasion. Just hearing a few bars of a song can bring me right back. Ask my kids, they will tell you I magically know the words to all the songs (to their deep embarrassment). My favorite song as a kid was “I Think I […]

Growing up I did a lot of things “all by myself.” In my family, if you asked for help you were lazy, stupid, or a failure (according to my dad). I built a bookcase at 8, hung wallpaper by 10, and had my own checking account at 16. But when I got married something happened. […]

When I was in college, my two best friends and I came up with a name for all the crazy adventures we were having: we called them “Grammy was a Ho” stories. We figured that when we were older and had kids, we would be too embarrassed to tell… but when we were really old […]

I made a new friend the day I turned 16. Her name was Sally, and she showed up in my driveway that bright July morning. She was a blue 1967 muscle car. My father showed me how to pump gas, and immediately she and I set off on a series of great misadventures. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=wfzj4Jcm21A She […]